WHERE DID ALL OF THIS COME FROM?

I was thankful to grow up with parents who were artists first. My mom was a dance teacher and my dad a musician and drummer. Growing up was filled with freedom of expression and encouragement to create whatever my wild mind would come up with. As long as I could remember I loved to dance and paint. I would paint anything I could: ceramics, watercolors on the kitchen floor in my favorite dress, blank kitchen placemats, and even when I was in pre-k, they used my paintings of flowers for the yearbook page. 

My brother was fascinated at a young age with photography and guitar. He’d make home videos on my dads film camcorder of me hula hooping and reporting the weather. He won awards in high school for photography and played lead guitar in school and in bands. I always looked up to him and how talented he was. I remember I once snuck into his room and picked up his very expensive Canon DSLR. He knew right away that I had picked it up and yelled at me not to ever go in his room and touch his things. I realized then how powerful and important a camera was to someone.

I was gifted a camera for Christmas in middle school one year and I loved walking about my neighborhood in Bluffton where I’d take photos of the oak trees and our outdoor cat. I’d even photograph the inside of our house where the most beautiful light would shine in and when I wasn’t photographing or making paintings I would come home after school and practice singing Hayley Williams’ incredible songs of Paramore in the small half-bath because it had the best acoustics.

I wasn’t a scholar student and I was trouble growing up. My parents were divorced as long as I can remember and constantly made it hard on us kids. I hated school and I acted out. Discovering music, expressing myself through painting and dance were my main sources of safety and where I shined. When I’d visit my dad on the weekends, we spent our time going to see live music in bars. This started around age 12. The guys were seemingly cool about it, but they would put a chair up front for me to make sure we wouldn’t cause them any trouble. When we weren’t out seeing live music, we were at home watching music documentaries and live concerts on TV. I think my dad was subtly trying to prevent his kids from having bad taste in music. I’m eternally grateful.

Sophomore year of high school I took darkroom where I was given a Pentax P3 35mm camera. I never took school seriously, but it was in painting and darkroom that I dove in. I loved the manual process of making photos and with my brother taking the same class years before me, he continued to inspire me on the possibility of incredible images. Film for me became like painting in the dark. 

I still didn’t care about school at all and until my mom told me that I wouldn’t get into college with my current GPA. So, I shaped up quick and knew I wanted to move cities and go to art school. I’d visit older friends who moved to Charleston on the weekends. I knew Charleston was the place for me and where I wanted to go to college once I graduated. Even though I didn’t get in to CofC, I graduated in the top percentile of my class and still made the move and went to Trident Tech on scholarship. I had the plan in mind: Trident for one year and then to CofC for Studio Art. I did everything I was supposed to seamlessly and this was a pivotal year for me as I learned that with hard work and determination you can have the life that you’ve always wished for. 

When we took a tour up to the art building and into the naturally lit painting studio I cried. I couldn’t believe that I would get to paint in a place that overlooked my new beautiful city. I felt at home. I was filling my schedule with classes and saw they had darkroom photography and rediscovered my dusty Pentax from high school and signed up. I loved photography so much that years later when it came to my senior thesis I was stumped. Painting was always the focus and the goal, but photography suddenly crept up and stolen my heart. I faithfully chose to stick it out with painting and decided on a thesis of eye contact and human vulnerability making watercolor paintings of only eye and nose features. Through simple repetitive motion, I discovered how we are all made up the same, but the subtly of a single line determines what shapes and makes you totally different from the next.

I’d sell my paintings and make phone cases of my eye watercolor paintings to remind people that they should remember to look at one another and get off their phones. The paintings were of friends, but my favorite one was of local musician, Johnny Delaware. 

The inevitable happened though and I got tired of painting. I had been encouraged since I was four that this was my talent. But, the isolation killed me. I was working a 9 to 5 sales & marketing job that left me tired and lonely. The last thing I wanted to do after work was go home and isolate myself in my room to paint. Instead, I’d go out to see live music more than ever and my dear friend, Lisa Diamond asked me if I ever thought about shooting live music. I owe it to Lisa that this whole thing ever happened. I began shooting shows at Music Farm and then The Pour House and eventually started shooting in the pits at music festivals from Charleston to Austin, Texas. I was on a high like I have never felt before. The space between the musicians and the riveting screaming crowd was sacred to me. I knew it was an honor to be there. (It also was particularly awesome because I could finally see at shows. :) 

I hated my job so much that I told my boss I wanted to start a magazine and he asked me, “When will you have the time for that?” I put in my two weeks the next day.

I was going out to shows so much that eventually I had so many pictures that I remember feeling frustrated. Frustrated that so many people like myself were only posting our works of art on instagram. I quickly discovered the uphill battle of getting published as an independent photographer outside of a publication or media source you were on assignment for. 

I said the hell with it. I’ll make my own. Charleston’s music scene is so damn great and it deserves a real platform for everyone to make something of it. I always was surprised that Charleston didn’t have it’s own magazine and felt it was my calling to help archive a rapidly growing scene.

Inspired by the reality of what it takes to be a working artist, “9 To 5” Magazine was created.

3 years, 9 Issues and 8 sold out events later we are still making magazines, hosting live music and collaborating with the community near and far. We have collaborated with artists all over the country actually and I’ve learned an incredible amount in a relatively short period of time. The name has always been a reminder to myself and anyone willing to see that working for what you want is hard work, but with determination and support from your community it really is possible to live your dream. So, stay on it.

It hasn’t been easy for me - Choosing this life has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’ve found real freedom in that I work when I want and how I want. Others have told me that I’ve inspired them so much they’ve quit their jobs and started working on their music and making albums. I feel both worried and proud that I may possibly be responsible for turning these people onto the hardest and most rewarding life.

My favorite photographer, Annie Leibovitz has said, “People think that it’s the photographers job to put the subject at ease, but I can’t believe that.” I fell in love with her even more when she explained this, because I realized that it’s always through discomfort that we find growth and get to learn about ourselves.

The backyard sessions have always been a no-pressure zone and a place to do whatever the subject wants. I set the mood by putting on music and allowing people into my cozy space. And based on what they’re wearing, I simply choose a dark or light background. But, I first tell them I’m not going to tell you to do a bunch of poses because that’s not how I shoot. Sometimes they totally get it and jump right in and have so much fun while other times I get told, “I don’t know why, but I’m nervous.” I ask why but they’re not sure. To me though, I imagine it’s because they feel exposed. But of what?

Sitting for a photographer is a super vulnerable thing. I’ve been on the other side and I guess this is why I stay on this side now (ha! kidding) but, really it’s hard work to move through and I understand that. I do ask things like, “What’s your favorite quality about yourself?” And it’s usually a physical feature so I highlight those things. However, many times they reveal more things they dislike about themselves physically. 

I was photographing a close friend and I asked him to take off his hat. Not even thinking about it, I surprisingly realized I had never seen my friend without a hat. He is bald with a full beard and piercing green eyes. He was hesitant, but he agreed and later was crazy uncomfortable about me sharing the photos with his exposed head. I realized then that I felt inspired to photograph people and keep both their insecurity and their confident quality in mind. I’ve gotten to know friends deeper and have also met new people for the first time through this experience. 

I think this body of work is both my favorite and my strongest. I’ve learned a ton with the help of boss-cool guy, Sully Sullivan who creates amazing portraits with both studio and natural lighting. I’ve been playing around with a new Digibee flash unit in combination with natural light to create both soft and stronger images- it’s always been about balance for me and finding the things we love and honoring them. I hope my images help inspire my subjects to know that even with discomfort they can see the unique beauty they have always had within themselves. 

 If you’d like to schedule a session with me, you can contact me via email at taylorlczerwinski@gmail.com